; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize