weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
