Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
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She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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