Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
