Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
