I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
