I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize