I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
