I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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