Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I could make wine with my vomit
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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