Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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