I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize