i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
