i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
