I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
