508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
