And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
FUCK WHALES
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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