nut hugger
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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