So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
