Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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