I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
