just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Enjoy the penises
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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