I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm like, not good at living.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
