i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
