Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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