you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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