I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
