margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
