There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
