Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
