if i can run in heels then i can drive
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
