well you can't waste a boner
I wish you could order shots online.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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