new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
