She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i came on her dog
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This is my gift to your gina
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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