If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize