The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
