I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
