I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
