trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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