Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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