whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
