I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This is the high leading the old right now
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
