sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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