I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
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We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
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Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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