Small penises have feelings too.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
