Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
