I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
