her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
