wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
