If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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