My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
