i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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