so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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