Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
