i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
