You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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