u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
