I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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