Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
