And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dicks are not precious.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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