soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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