I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
