if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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