how can u be prego again
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
